Ramblings from an insomniac....

6 Random Facts

2009-01-22T19:54:00.000-08:00

I am quite surprised...I was tagged by Miss Jia to do these 6 random facts. Since not too many people know much about me, this was quite easy.

1. I did not learn how to drive until my 20th birthday. Well no, let me stop lying. I actually took Driver's Ed in high school when I was 15...BUT after an accident I had a few weeks after the class I never got behind the wheel of a car again. That is until I purchased my first car on my birthday...I learned how to drive in that car.

2. I did not graduate with the majority of my senior class. Thanks to missing over 20+ days in my second semester of senior year (I was 2 months pregnant then and morning sickness was a bitch). I couldn't make up all my hours before my graduation date...and ended up not walking. I actually graduated 1 month later in a small ceremony with about ten other students at my high school's library.

3. One of my biggest pet peeves, is for a female to forget who her real friends are after becoming involved with a man. I have actually stopped talking to a few friends because of that. I understand having less time for your girls. I don't understand when you only have time for friends if that nigga does you wrong. I am a firm believer in having a little bit of independence away from your man. Making everything about your man will leave you with a whole lot of heartache.

4. I have never been in love...and I am fine with that. After seeing some of the things that love does to females, I definitely do not mind staying away from it for a while.

5. I absolutely HATE being wrong...which is why I NEVER argue unless I know I am right AND I have proof to back it up. So if I actually continue to argue you down...trust and believe YOU WILL NOT WIN. If I back down that means I am a bit unsure.

6.I envy females that still have the fathers of their children still involved in their child's life. But, I can't stand to see a female take that shit for granted. Things like that really hit a sore spot with me.

Now seeing that not too many people read my blog yet...I will be tagging a few people I know from Twitter that have blogs.

Now, here are the rules:

1. LINK TO THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU
2. POST THE RULES ON YOUR BLOG
3. WRITE SIX RANDOM THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF
4. TAG SIX PEOPLE AT THE END OF YOUR POST AND LINK TO THEM
5. LET EACH PERSON KNOW THEY ARE TAGGED AND LEAVE A COMMENT ON THEIR BLOG
6. LET THE TAGGER KNOW WHEN YOUR ENTRY IS UP
7. DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN (not actually a rule)

I am tagging the following:

1. TS Sexy Chanel
2. Symone
3. Marie Denee
4. Ms. Wright
5. Bethany

...and tagging anyone else that may read this and has a blog ( can't think of six folk right now).

Question????

2009-01-09T21:52:00.000-08:00

This is for anyone that reads my blog that is over the age of 25...ish, lol.

When do parents finally take into consideration that you are no longer a "child" and are very much GROWN. After I have had a child, gotten my own place, and been supporting myself...I am still BABIED. Case in point, I have a new boo...and I invited him to the crib for the first time. It just so happens that same evening my mother visits. Now, my mom hates EVERYONE I date. Never does she have anything nice to say about one person. But she comes over plays with her grandson and then leaves. At 4 am I receive a phone call...

Ma: "Is that nigga still there?"

Me: *sleepily* "Yes"

Ma: "I know you don't have some nigga sleeping over there in the house with my grandbaby!"

Me: "Sure do...BYE!"

Now this is the first time I have had a guy spend the night with me, since my son has been born (except my best friend and godbrother that frequents my couch after the club). I finally felt like I could bring this guy around to meet my son because I feel strongly about him. Yet, the first thing that comes to my mother's mind is...I'm about to fuck.

Now there are numerous situations where my mother trets me as if I am still under her roof, and I do not know how to really make it cease. How do I bring this topic up in a way that I am not disrespectful. I mean I make mistakes, but I do like to believe that most of my decisions now days are pretty damn good. UGH...what to do???

Greedy Heifers...Walk a Mile in my Shoes!

2009-01-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

Today as I checked my YT subscriptions I came across Miss Jia's TI + Child Support video, and it hit a few nerves with me. Not just with the Lashon Dixon situation but with "baby's mamas"...PERIOD.

I am a single mother. In my son's 3 years on this earth my son has NEVER seen his father, received a dime, or even the courtesy of a happy birthday phone call. My son's father has never seen a picture, nor asked for one. And he actually takes contracting jobs under the table so he can not be found by Child Enforcement and his wages can not be touched. This jigga actually moved out of the state of NC to get the hell away from my child and me.

Luckily, my child is surrounded by positive male influences (godbrother and my best male friend). Not to mention he never wants for a DAMN thing. Allthough I can not be the man he needs in his life...I make damn sure he sees a positive male image on the regular because that is what I want him to grow into. I do not hunt down my son's father, nor do I go bad mouthing him in the streets. First of all, because I know he will get what is coming to him. Secondly, I saw my mother go through Child Support battles my whole life only to receive a whopping $68/month. It is tiring and takes such a negative toll on not only the mother but the child too.

But moving on...I hate to see single mother's fall into the "baby mama" syndrome. The typical sideline hater on the father, or chick that always has to argue with new girl. A chick that does not have her CHILD'S best interest at heart when going after money. Or a woman that will attempt to keep a child from a father just because he can't pay for all your extra. As far as I am concerned if a man invests his time and efforts into bringing up his child. If he is as involved in that child's life as the mother...then I see no reason for a child support case.

Now don't get me wrong...I do know there are some deadbeats out there and some women have no chioice but to go after them. But there are many "baby's mamas" out there that give single mothers such as myself a bad name...and I need all you chickens to SADDOWN (sit down)!

Still getting it....

2009-01-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, Ok...I KNOW!

My ass surely has not been updating my blog about my healthier lifestyle endeavors like I said I would. Off to a bad dammit start already, lol. BUT...I have been good I have worked out 5 times a day and sometimes twice a day. I eat well and do not drink sodas or indulge in junk any longer. I have even had to get on my self hard about eating 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. There has only been two days where I was off with my food (New Years Eve and New Years Day) and tat is because my wisdom tooth was being a bitch and I needed to get it cut out. So I couldn't eat AT ALL. I stayed in bed heavily medicated with the Anbesol at my bed side.

Other than that I have been doingvery well...and the Body for Life program really seems to fit me. I also bought a few new work out items for days I just can't make it to the gym. I hit up Ebay and bougt sets of dumbbells (3, 5, and 8 lbs) I also got ankle and wrist weights, an excercise ball and mat, and a Jillian Micheals workout DVD along with Mel B (from the spice girls, lol) workout video. I really like the Mel B video. I just like hearing her talk and her overall enthusiasm...PLUS, her body is the shit.

Anyway, I will try to keep this updated at least weekly. Simply because I hardly find time to step away from the Blackberry or some work I am doing to do a daily update. Soooo, lookout for me on Sundays with those updates.

Yea, I'm Late! (Day 1)

2008-12-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, so... I said I would post daily about my progress for Body for Life and I'm fucking up already, lol. Nah, just a little extra busy. I'll do better.

My meals consisted of:
Breakfast (Special K, 2% milk, a green apple and water)
Snack (vanilla yogurt, mandarin oranges)
Lunch (1/2 turkey wrap, small garden salad with oil and vinegar, and a banana)
Snack (1/2 cup almonds and handful of baby carrots)
Dinner (shrimp stir fry, brown rice, a orange)

I downed all the water I could yesterday (3 24 oz bottles)

When I woke up I did my hip hop abs video. I also went to the gym that evening an did some upper body weight training.

Yesterday was a good day...and I feel as if I can stick with it.

New New...

2008-12-28T10:36:00.000-08:00

Once again the New Year is upon us...and people are telling lies and making up shit (aka resolutions). I don't do it...WILL NOT! But I do have a to do list of things. Things to complete before 2010.

1. Finish repairing credit. Luckily, I don't have that much to repair. Pay down some student loans, pay off a credit card and a medical bill. Then continue to pay on the card I currently use and my credit score will continue to rise. I have to do this because I said I WILL buy a house before 25, I turn 22 in 2009.

2. Pay off my car...my baby has 7 more months of payments.

3. Maintain a budget....seriously I would have so much more money now if I had a budget and accounted for where my money was going.

4. Travel, travel, travel...it is my favorite thing to do, but for some reason this past year I didn't go ANYWHERE. I have already put a down payment on my trip to Negril...and have a timeshare in Florida I need to visit.

5. Stop allowing people to take advantage of my kindness...I have the hardest time telling people NO. So, this year I will be using the word more often.

6. Make sure I take care of ME! I continuously buy things for other...my parents, my son, my friends...but rarely me. I will make sure to treat myself to a shopping spree every now and then, along with a few pampering sessions.

Well that is about it. No resolutions...just things I know I should be implementing in my life. Trying to improve myself one day at a time.

Let's GET IT!

2008-12-28T09:55:00.001-08:00

I told myself, when I first begun this blog I would be documenting my transition to a healthier lifestyle. Well...I still haven't started, lol. Mostly because after a few weeks of doing right...I stopped going to the gym everyday (I did work out at least 3-4 times a week...just stop going as hard), and started to mess up my meal plans. My biggest problem: I don't eat much...but when I do it's BAD!. I have become so accustomed to eating one meal a day and it is usually LATE. Which is weird because since I am a WAHM I make 3 meals everyday (plus 2 snacks) for my son...but I never eat when he eats.

Now when I told my family that I was about to start eating better and exercising everday...they laughed. Which is understandable...I can be the LAZIEST person ever, and I am also the biggest procrastinator. BUT I have never wahnted to be healthier until NOW. Not because I am so adamant about loosing weight, or looking good in a certain outfit. I want this because I want to break the cycle in my family. Almost all of my family is overweight/obese (hate that fucking word...I rather be called fat, lol). My dad's side has a history of hypertension and diabetes, and my mom's side has a history of hypertension and heart disease. My mother and father BOTH must take at least 4 pills a day to keep them going, and are continuously in and out of hospitals and doctor offices.

I am 21 now...and 2 months ago I was at my biggest. at the rate I am going I could end up like my parents by my thirties. I do not want that life. I do not want my son to see my like that or worry about me like I worry about my parents.

So TOMORROW...I am starting a new 12 week program (Body for Life). I heard about it while reading Jia's daily progress blogs on MySpace. I have read up on it, and have been trying to educate myself on all aspects of it. Needless, to say...I am excited. Luckily, I don't have to take a lot of stuff out of my diet. I ust have to adjust it in order to cut calories and get the nutrients out of food I need. For example, rather than eating my turkey sandwich on white bread, I can use a multi-grain or wheat. I hate plans that make me exclude certain food...just sets you up for failure.

Anyway, wish me luck...this blog will be like my food/excercise journal. So I can remain accountable. Knowing that I have a few people looking makes me want to stay on the path to completion.

Hey People!

2008-12-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

Just got new webcam today...my son felt the need to break it in, lol.

ElfYourSelf

2008-12-09T21:28:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Denali & Praise

2008-12-08T04:14:00.000-08:00

With sport-utility vehicles at the altar and auto workers in the pews, one of Detroit's largest churches on Sunday offered up prayers for Congress to bail out the struggling auto industry.

Okay...I get it Detroit is in a horrible financial crisis (worse than the majority of the U.S.)...and prayer changes things, but WHO in the hell drove these rides up into the pulpit. I really want to know. Anyway...the story is here.

Damn Brit...

2008-12-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, I AM such the Britney Spears fan, and have been since I was a little girl. So with all the Britney-mania going on recently I was really happy she was getting her moment to set things straight, and show that she was human and fucks up too. I am enjoying her album and feeling her look right now BUT...wtf is that shit in the video above. Since when is it okay for your background dancers to outdance you. I mean EVERYONE knows Britney lip syncs and I always figured it was because of her full out performances. But seeing her on Good Morning America put my ass right back to sleep. All this damn hype and the performance was just sooo bland. Please Brit put some pep in your step and shake your ass like you used to...DAMN

I AM A MOTHER!!!!

2008-12-01T13:15:00.000-08:00

I hate it when older folk try to play my parenting skills. Yes, I am a young mother...but what is your point?

I am a young mother with a good ass job, getting an education, and still has time for my son EVERY SINGLE DAY! No, I'm not constantly in someone's club, constantly having others watch my child or take on my responsibility. Anyone that knows me...knows if you see me, my son is close by.

Everyone assumes that because of my age (21) I can not fully understand the sacrifices and responsibility of motherhood. Needless to say, I am very much aware how much time, patience, and sacrifice is involved in my roll as a mother. I can count numerous times when I needed something, but my son was growing out of his clothes so I put my ish on the back burner. A few times when I didn't eat to ensure my baby had a full meal. Staying up until 4 in the morning with a sick child and STILL going to work.

Whether you realize it or not...I AM A MOTHER, and a damn good one. I would give my son the world if I could. No matter my circumstances I will be his provider, teacher, disciplinarian, motivator, and everything else he needs.

I'll do it later...

2008-12-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

I swear that should be my mantra.

I am the hugest procrastinator EVER! Only time I do things in a timely manner is when other people are depending on me. But when I am doing things like finishing assignments, making business calls, or typing up a report...I wait until the very last minute. Hell I even procrastinate when it comes to cooking dinner.

I never really worried about it before because no matter what...things still got done. But NOW I have put myself in a bind for waiting until the last damn minute to do something, and its fucking up my money. Now a chick is hurt...because if I would have done what I was supposed to do as soon as I got the task, I would be paid right now!

I have to end this bad ass habit. So I am about to make a list of all the things I should be working towards right now. My incentive for completing this list is yet to be determined...but I will think of something to keep me motivated. I might have to start doing this every week.

Baby Boy

2008-11-29T12:39:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY CALEB!

Mommy loves you so much, and can't believe how much you are growing. These years since you were born have gone by so fast...I can hardly catch up, lol. But I am so happy the Lord blessed me with such a wonderful child. The only person I know that can melt my heart in an instant, and brighten up a gloomy day with a simple smile.

Caleb Jayden...Mommy's little man.

*Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you..."

2008-11-28T22:18:00.000-08:00

What in the hell happened to J. Holiday?

He came out with an album...joined someone on tour and then straight bounced. I'm gonna need him to come with it. If he stay gone too long the celebrity he gained will just fizzle away. But I love his music so I hope that doesn't happen. So until he comes out with some new I will be jamming to his new joint It's Yours.

MAD!

2008-11-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

Damn, I love Ne-Yo...I just watched this for the first time a few minutes ago, and it kinda got to me. Yea the video was sad, but that wasn't what got to me. It was the song itself. Put a lot into perspective for me about a current situation of mine...so, needless to say it hit home.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

2008-11-27T01:46:00.000-08:00

So what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday?
I have three major things that I am thankful for...

1.) Having a healthy and constantly growing son that lights up my day everytime I see him smile. Being a mother is definitely not easy, but it is a blessing...and everything I do it is for a better life for my son and I. Mommy loves you Caleb Jayden!!!

2.) Having my wonderful mommy!!! I know that no matter how many mistakes I make she will still be there for me. Supporting me, kicking my ass, and seeing the best in me. I love my mommy so much...she is my rock.

3.) Also happy that in a time of financial crisis the lord has blessed me with multiple ways to bring in a nice income, and do it all from home.

Right now in life I am truly blessed, and I am wishing all reading this a safe and blessed holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

~Now, its time to get back to the kitchen!

Unlikely Meeting...

2008-11-27T00:46:00.000-08:00

Men = damn fools!

Okay I don't really mean that...it only applies to some of you. Now the story...

So I meet a guy, chat it up with him, make a nice little connect...you know the usual boy meets girl ish. So one evening I invite him over, and we have a good time just chilling with one another. I mean have you ever just sat with some one in straight silence and it didn't even bother you. That was pretty much how the evening went. Well with all this connecting on other levels later that night/early morning, we made our first "physical connection" :-p.

Now do you know right after our encounter...I mean immediately after this punk ass tells me he has a girl and this is his first time ever cheating *rolls eyes*...sure it is. This of course pisses me off because I'm like why are you telling me now...why didn't you bring it up in the midst of all that fucking silence. Needless to say he was out the damn door quickly afterward.

Well after a few weeks he is still trying to contact me, letting me know he only wants to befriend me. Saying he feels like our friendship could remain tight. So my dumb ass gives it a trial run...why the hell did I do that. Everything cool at first, nothing sexual or physical...all light fun and convo. So he comes over last week for a CD and to hit up the CPU...and next thing I know, I hear moaning coming from the speakers of my laptop. So after I smack the back of his big ass head and take my laptop away and close out all the pale, pasty asses from my computer screen...he decides he wants to come up behind me and let me see how excited he got from the wafer thin blonde chick. Again he was dismissed from the crib.

Now a call today...apologizing and then asking for a favor. He says he wants a few CDs and will pay me for them. Now as much as I do not want to see him...I DO NOT turn down cash, lol. So I get him some CDs ready and 30 minutes later...a knock. But wait the hell up, it's not just his ass at the door...this dumb ass brings his GIRLFRIEND. Walks up in the crib, and the first thing he says is baby this is my "sister"...we got mad love for each other. He then proceeds to tell me that is his fiance...with no kind of ring on her finger AT ALL. Now usually, my normal self would bust his ass on out before they even got through the damn door. But I couldn't do it this time because 1. I already feel bad that I slept with him, 2. she knows he cheated but not that it is me, and 3. this broad already looked a lil looney tune by the eyes. I may act foolish, but I'm no damn fool...I choose my battles wisely.

Needless to say...once he put some mileage between us I laid his ass out. I know for a fact he will NEVER attempt to call me ever again in life. Bringing his girl to my house so he can cover his ass...when he wants to come through. I know thats what he was up to...who you think you gamin' honey.

The Circus is Coming to Town

2008-11-27T00:31:00.000-08:00

So...have you heard it?

Britney Spears new album...loves it.

No matter what she does or does not do this chick comes out with some hot tracks. PERIOD!
I am bumping the hell out of Britney and Kanye right now (that doesn't even sound like it goes together, lol).

Wanna hear it...Brit is currently streaming it on IMEEM.

Although, I have already downloaded the album I do plan on buying this album when it comes out December 2nd.

About Damn Time...

2008-11-27T00:16:00.000-08:00

Yea so I figured it was about time I start doing the blogging thing. All the cool kids were doing it, lol. Anyway, this will be a mixture of things seeing that most days I go off about 4 hours of sleep...and spend the majority of my time online. Therefore, all my online finding, all my late night babble, my new fitness venture, and my ups and downs will be posted HERE.

Damn that MySpace blog of mine...too many family members read it any way.